In recent years, kernel stability has been frequently mentioned as an outstanding quality.
For example, a kernel-stable person, in the eyes of others, might look like this
He may be very positive and optimistic, no matter what difficulties he encounters, he will never retreat or escape He may have clear goals, know what he wants to do and be able to work hard for it He may be very strong-willed, and not easy to be manipulated and disturbed by his emotions He may be full of power of action, and always be full of passion, and go into action as soon as he wants to do something.
He may be very positive and optimistic, and will not retreat or run away from any difficulties he encounters.
He may have clear goals, know what he wants to do, and be able to work hard for them.
He may be very determined and not easily disturbed by emotions
He may be full of action, always full of passion, and act immediately when he wants to do something.
I think these are the qualities that many of my friends would like to have.
So, what exactly is the concept of kernel stability? How can we become a kernel stable person?
In today’s article, I want to talk to you about this.
First of all, let’s explore Kernel stabilization, what kind of quality is it?
Some people may interpret kernel stability as emotional stability, that is, the ability to try not to generate emotions, no matter what happens, you can immediately snuff out the emotions when they emerge, so as not to let them continue to grow. And then, as if nothing has happened, we can continue to talk, act, work and live.
But this is actually wrong.
Why? On the one hand, emotion is a normal physiological mechanism, and it is neither reasonable nor necessary to ask a person to be emotionless like an AI, which is against human nature.
On the other hand, emotional stability is originally a personality indicator, it is part of the big five personality, it is a kind of trait that is naturally shaped and formed as you grow up.
Within the Big Five, emotional stability follows a normal distribution. That is to say, about half the people in the world tend toward one end of the spectrum and the other half toward the other end.
In other words, half of the people in the world are emotionally stable and half are emotionally unstable. Emotional stability is not an ability, and emotional instability is not a defect; both are perfectly normal phenomena. They are not strengths and weaknesses, but rather characteristics.
Therefore, kernel stability is somewhat related to emotion, but it cannot be simply summarized by emotional stability.
So, how should we understand kernel stability?
I would like to use an analogy to illustrate.
Suppose you are walking along an endless road, you may be disturbed and affected by many factors, what might these factors include? The temptation to take other, seemingly smoother off-ramps, the fear of lurking in the darkness ahead, the confusion of not seeing your goal, or the fatigue of having traveled for too long, the laziness of wanting to lie down and rest for a while
You may stay where you are for a long time, you may take a detour to another fork in the road, you may wonder where you are going.
But in the end, you’ll come back to the path and keep going. Because this is your life. It has no shortcuts and it can’t be faked.
The difference is just the point at which you realize it.
Kernel stability is measured by your ability to get rid of these distractions and get back on this path and keep going. The more stable your kernel is, the less likely you are to be disturbed by external or internal factors.
In simple terms, it refers to the control a person has over his life What percentage of his life is under his control and what percentage is influenced and manipulated by other factors.
When faced with temptation, hesitation and fear, a person whose inner core is not stable enough will easily lose his own persistence, hand over the control of his life to the outside world, and allow himself to be pushed by the outside world.
But a stable core of people, will firmly grasp the control in their own hands, their own control of their own life.
Maybe after you read this analysis above, you will feel a little abstract, and do not know where to start.
Well, I’d like to share 4 perceptions to help you better develop a stable kernel.
Of course, building a stable kernel never happens overnight and it’s definitely not that simple. But I hope that these 4 perceptions will provide you with a direction to become stronger inside and build a better sense of inner mastery for you .
1 Confidence that the choices I make are the right ones.
Many people’s perception is Self-confidence, that is, I need to have outstanding ability, and I am not so good, so I do not deserve self-confidence.
But this is not the case. What is true self-confidence? It is that you have a full understanding of your own ability, a clear understanding of the boundaries of their own capabilities, and on this basis, their own choices, decision-making and behavior of enough trust.
In other words, what is typical of a truly confident person? is to take every choice and decision in life seriously, and then say this to yourself
If I take it seriously, I will get the result that I deserve on my own merit. Could there have been a better outcome? Of course there is, but then it is not something I can get by my own ability; it is beyond the boundaries of my ability and not something I can decide.
As long as I do it seriously, the result I get is what I deserve on the basis of my ability.
Is it possible that there is a better result? Of course there is, but that is not something I can get by virtue of my ability, it is beyond the boundary of my ability, and it is not something I can decide.
Therefore, a person with a stable kernel will not hold on to things that he has not obtained, nor will he excessively glorify the path that he has not chosen. Because he will uphold such a cognizance
What I got is worthy of me, and what I didn’t get is not mine in the first place.
I often see people ask the question I chose a path, but how do I know it’s the right path? Is it possible that the farther I go on it, the more I stray from the right direction instead?
What I want to say is that this so-called correctness is a regression from the result, which is affected by various factors and is not something we can 100 control. As long as you seriously make a judgment in the moment, then your decision is correct.
This is the premise of kernel stability, but also a person can be firmly in their own hearts, not swaying not backward key.
2 Proactive I can plan ahead and respond to problems
Our lives cannot always go smoothly, and we are bound to encounter some unexpected things. Some of these things may be favorable to us, but more of them may be full of uncertainty or threats.
And so, if a person lacks initiative, he can easily develop the feeling that my life is being dictated by the outside world controlled by the outside world. In order to keep my life on track, I have to try to avoid all kinds of risks.
This results in a person who is constantly running around trying to solve life’s problems. To him, these problems are unnecessary and pointless, and their existence is just a distraction from his life and a drain on his energy.
Conversely, how would a person who possesses a high degree of initiative in life feel and think? He would firmly believe this
I can control and determine my life. The external factors are only conditions, but my own thoughts, decisions and actions are always mine to manipulate and make.
Then, he will face external problems with a more positive mindset, see them as a challenge, see the process of solving problems as an achievement, and grow and have fun in the process.
Therefore, a person with a stable kernel knows exactly what he wants and how to approach it. Instead of passively waiting for a task to fall from the sky and ask him to do it, he actively prepares and plans for the future, increasing the probability of reaching the goal and decreasing the probability of encountering accidents.
Often, what determines whether you can overcome difficulties may not be the difficulties themselves, but your mindset to face them.
You feel the pressure, do not dare to move forward, so this uncertainty is further strengthened, resulting in chronic pressure, so you feel more fear, more afraid to move forward!
In turn, you take the initiative to save for a rainy day, take a step forward, and realize that it is just like that, and then get feedback and a sense of achievement, which in turn supports you to continue to take the next step, and continue to cut down on uncertainty. And eventually, you solve the problem and reach a new destination.
This is the behavioral pattern of the Kernel’s stabilization. For him, life is not about facing one trouble after another, but the process of getting one achievement after another.
3 Sober I can keep my emotions in the loop
As mentioned earlier, kernel stability is neither the same as emotional stability nor does it mean the absence of emotions, so how exactly should one understand the relationship between kernel stability and emotions?
Simply put, it means having the ability to regulate your emotions.
You can have any emotion, you can be angry, sad, anxious, afraid, all of these are normal and natural, do not need to deliberately repress and eliminate them.
However, you also have to draw a circle for them to stay inside the circle to avoid influencing the world outside the circle. Once you realize that they are about to spill out of the circle, about to roam out, it’s time to regulate your state so that they don’t influence your decisions and behaviors.
So, a person with a stable inner core can generate any emotion, but at the same time, he will recognize it
Just because you generate a feeling doesn’t mean it’s real, and even less does it mean that you have to act on it to deal with it You are perfectly capable of deciding what you want to do, the decision has to be in your own hands.
It’s perfectly fine for you to set it aside and tell yourself I got it, let it go for now, I’ll deal with it when I have time.
The vast majority of the time, you will find that these feelings are basically false. They are born out of nothingness and return to nothingness and have no effect on you. It’s like a gust of wind blowing over your heart and then dissipating without leaving a trace.
Emotions are essentially a self-reinforcing cycle. The more you care about it, the more you focus on it, the more powerful it becomes, and the more it slowly breaks away from your control and tries to steal it from you.
But if you just feel its presence, remove your attention from it, and don’t breathe life into it, it will become rootless, struggle for a while, and then disappear.
4 Stability My life must have minimal variability.
When many people encounter problems, they are prone to fluctuations in mindset or behavior, and are prone to change their habits and put off many other things for the sake of it, to the point where they become emotionally unstable, have trouble sleeping and eating, and have trouble extricating themselves from their preoccupation with this matter
This is actually a sign of a lack of inner sense of order Your life is too unstable, too easily shaken by external waves.
What will this only lead to? Your brain will be very eager for stability, very reject the unexpected. Therefore, whether it is a good or bad thing, whether it is serious or subtle, once the slightest unexpected thing happens, it will cause you to have a great reaction.
The better thing to do is to maintain a stable life. Do what you need to do and be what you need to be. There’s a question coming up isn’t it? Great, put it inside your daily to-do list and set aside some time and energy to think about it. Other than that, don’t let it interfere with your daily life.
A person with a stable kernel is bound to have a stable lifestyle that includes stable daily habits, stable hobbies and activities, stable schedules, stable reading and inputting of information, stable thinking, reviewing and reconsidering, and furthermore, stable principles, ways of thinking, values, and so on.
Let’s take a simple example You have a problem and need to wait for some time to see the result. So, in the meantime, you’re anxious, you’re worried, you’re fretting, is that helpful? No. This is just asking for trouble and will not help the problem itself.
What should you do? Eat well, sleep well, rest well, study, go out, keep your life stable and minimize the changes caused by external stimuli.
In this way, the brain is better calmed to know that you’re capable of fighting and coping with the unexpected. Thus, the brain’s prediction of your ability to cope with risk is tuned up.
How stable your inner order and life routine is, how well you are able to cope with shocks.
Of course, these 4 perceptions may also take time to build and adapt to. In the process, try these tips below as well, which may help you get up to speed more efficiently.
1 Engage in positive self-talk
Many people will habitually resort to negative self-talk. But in the long run, it’s easy for the brain to take them seriously, which tunes down our competency ratings and predictive modeling of the self and reduces our self-confidence and autonomy.
So a simple but effective way to do this is to turn negative dialog into positive self-talk.
For example
I’m not good at this, so I’d better avoid it and not touch it. I have another opportunity to grow my experience. This seems like a lot of work, is it beyond my abilities? Am I getting better at it? Might as well take this question for a test run. What a terrible thing I just said or did, how could I have behaved so poorly? I’ve improved from before, maybe I can do better next time.
I’m not good at this, so I’m better off avoiding it and not touching it. I have another opportunity to grow in experience.
This seems like a lot of work, is it beyond me? Am I getting better at it? Why don’t you take this question and give it a try.
What a terrible thing I just did or said, how could I have behaved so poorly? I’ve improved from before, maybe I can do better next time.
2 Making Positive Connections
When you take action to eliminate or alleviate a problem, try to experience and dwell on the joy that arises in the moment, to amplify the feeling, to remember it, to review it more often, and to let it serve as a motivator.
Keep track of what you did well and what you did right, so that you know exactly what the boundaries of your capabilities include and what you are capable of, strengthening your self-confidence and self-efficacy.
Also try tying the things you don’t like to do to the things that make you happy, and let the latter help you influence the former.
As an example Many people have to deal with simple but tedious matters in their daily lives, so try listening to a podcast while you do it Take care not to let yourself go wrong . That way, the next time you face these matters, your first reaction will not be annoyed, but can listen to the last podcast finished!
3 Cultivate multiple sources of value
If you put all the meaning and value of your life on the same object, then if it goes wrong or is at risk, it means that your whole life system suffers a shock, and the loss is huge.
If you have the means, learn more skills, expand your field, develop new hobbies, try to do some activities outside of your main job, get in touch with more people, make some different friends All of these will help you avoid overly monotonizing your life and falling into a sitting duck.
It’s important to note that unlike a side hustle, you don’t have to make a profit out of it, which is very difficult. However, you can use it as a kind of spiritual and psychological support, so that when you feel frustrated, discouraged and lost, you can clearly let yourself know that
I do not have nothing, I still have these things that can give me strength and support.
This can provide you with a constant source of motivation. It helps you to have the courage to face difficulties better.
4 Build rich social links
Try taking out a piece of paper and listing the people who fit the profile individually
Who are the people I listen to when I’m stuck? Who can provide me with substantial help when I am in trouble? Who are the people who will be on my side, believe in me and support me?
Who are the people who can be my listeners when I am in trouble?
Who are the people who can provide me with substantial help when I am in trouble?
Who are the people who will stand firmly on my side, believe in me and support me?
These people are best started from around, to get to know the people around you and maintain the relationships around you Offline face-to-face communication is always better than online.
No man is an island. Always remember to open the doors within and keep the possibility of connecting with others open.
This will become a strong attachment and support within you.
To briefly summarize today’s content
The essence of inner core stability is to have enough control over your life to avoid being manipulated and dominated by the outside world.
To establish this, you can start with 4 perceptions
1 Self-confidence: If I take it seriously, then any outcome will be worthwhile and correct.
2 Proactive I take a proactive step towards the problem and it becomes less difficult
3 Sobriety I can have any emotions, but they stay in a circle and do not influence my judgment, decisions, or behavior.
4 Stability My life must have a minimum of variability and should not be easily disturbed by the wind.
In the meantime, here are four tips to help you develop these perceptions.
4 Build rich social connections.
This article is reprinted from the public number Mr. L said ID lxianshengmiao , author Li Ruiqiu Lachel.
Good article recommendation
Typography positive wind
Editor: Positive Wind Editor-in-Chief: Xia Kun
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